Memoirs of a Spanish Country Pastor - 22
| CONCHITA'S PENANCES WERE NOT limited to simple, exterior acts. She suffered from acute perception, the trial of the "dark night" that St. John of the Cross speaks of. These were trials of profound agony whose only consoling balm was the delicate tact of the Virgin who was not unaware of them as we shall see. |
Translated from the French and Spanish,
Reprinted by kind permission from St. Joseph Publications.
(Conchita’s spiritual martyrdom) The penances of Conchita - even though she was still a
child - were not limited to mere external acts… Conchita passed through the test
of the “Dark Night” - as St. John of the Cross describes it - a test of true
anguish which had, as a consoling balm, the sweet presence of the Virgin
herself, as we shall see shortly. In the year 1962, at the Piedrajita that I have just
mentioned, I had the occasion to share the terrible spiritual test that Conchita
was undergoing. She confided to me then the true martyrdom that was tormenting
her virginal soul. Expressionless, without raising her eyes from the ground,
as we mowed the dry hay, the child revealed her affliction little by little. - “I have profound doubts concerning the Real Presence of
Jesus Christ in the Eucharist,” she told me. In addition, “I often ask myself
how God could exist for all eternity… These and many other doubts are for me a
real martyrdom.” Persons who read this and have some experience in these
things know that those souls, who are undergoing such a moral martyrdom, are
incapable of understanding the reasons that one can give them to lead them out
of the darkness into the light. One can only suffer with them, and await the day
the Lord has reserved for the fall of the veil that darkens the peace of the
soul. One day the storm will calm; the Lord will do everything. On that same day Conchita revealed to me that the Virgin
was aware of her doubts. During her visits, her first words were: “Conchita, how
are your doubts!” This gave her consolation and peace, which only lasted as long
as the Virgin was with her.
PICTURE:
Conchita with Father Jose Ramon Garcia de la Riva, author of these memoirs,
at his parish of Our Lady of Sorrows in Barro, Asturias.
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